Stories
by Sericea
Summary: Nana reevaluates her past choices. Spoilers for later volumes, especially volume 20.


Nana had a hundred reasons for leaving Japan and a thousand for leaving Hachiko. Even after years of living in England, those still held up to scrutiny. In her loneliest times, she had taken comfort in the knowledge that she had done the right thing in light of the circumstances. As long as the reasons for her actions were good, then she knew that her decision was right.

Lately, though, she had started to realize that everything she had believed was wrong. Recently, when she started to list the reasons why she had been right to leave, a small, but increasingly convincing voice demolished her carefully constructed arguments.

In spite of it all, she kept clinging to her reasons. And tonight, as she stared out at the ocean, she tried to reaffirm her reason.

Hachiko was weak. She would never be able to be happy without a man in her life, but she would never be able to choose a man that would make her happy. She would draw everyone into her chaos just as surely as if she were the Demon Lord.

That was wrong, wasn't it? She might have fled Japan, but Nana had kept track of everyone in her old life and Hachiko was doing fine. Not only had she taken control of her love life, but she had also provided the rest of Blast with much needed stability….even more than Yasu had been able to provide. Where would Shin be now, if not for Hachiko's ridiculous game of house that had somehow evolved into the emotional support that he had so desperately needed?

Even if Hachiko wasn't weak, Nana could only keep her through Nobu. His failure to hold on to her would mean that she would eventually abandon every member of Blast, including Nana. Especially Nana.

Nobu had never really "claimed" Hachiko in the way Nana would have done, had she been given the chance. Nana never understood not taking what you wanted, no more than she understood Hachiko's refusal to fight for Shoji. Shoji wasn't much of a catch, obviously, but Nana had seen Hachiko's resignation as a sign of weakness, not as proof that she had her own quiet pride.

And yet, years later, they were still together. Not as lovers, but as friends. Despite the changes in circumstance, Hachiko was as involved with Nana's former bandmates as she had in the earliest days of Blast. Nana's fury at Nobu, her fear that Hachiko was slipping away, had hurt no one but herself.

Hachiko hadn't rejected Nana. Nana had fled before giving Hachiko a chance to accept her.

But that was the right choice, wasn't it? She could never be enough for Hachiko. Hachiko needed a man, someone who could provide strength and stability. Someone who could provide for Hachiko and her child. Nana could never be that person. At the end of everything, Nana had barely been able to hold herself up.

It had taken a while, but Hachiko had finally decided to stand on her own two feet. She had distanced herself from Takumi and started working to support herself and her family. Takumi helped, obviously, but Hachiko was making it. She didn't need anyone to lean on. She didn't need financial support now. She did need her friends. She needed apartment 707. And Nana could have been part of that.

And her biggest mistake had been about herself: Nana believed that the only relationship she could have was with Ren. They would never be completely happy together, but they wouldn't be alone. They were perfectly matched, if only because they were both damaged in similar ways. Without Ren, there would be no Nana.

Well, the last part was true. Nana had disappeared when Ren died. Somehow, though, instead of dying with him, she had become a new person. A new country. A new hairstyle. A new look. A new style of singing.

And a new understanding.

Years of introspection had left her with nothing but brutal and painful honesty. Maybe she hadn't been wrong to leave. Maybe she would have never been happy with Hachiko, but the reasons she left? The circumstances that left her unable to keep her friends in her life, unable to stay with the people who loved her, unable to hope that she might someday be happy?

Mistakes.

Mistakes which had lead to more mistakes. Pain which had caused more pain.

And yet, now she was beginning to believe that she could handle the pain, that she could own up to her mistakes and try to make it right.

Maybe Nana hadn't died with Ren that night. Maybe the love story of Nana and Ren didn't get its tragically beautiful ending.

Maybe, just maybe, the story of Nana and Hachiko might still have a chance to be told.


End file.
